Repenting of My Idol

Photo by Daniel Schaffer on Unsplash

The Why

“This is why. Because this is what you’re doing.”

That’s what I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. I had just posted some stories about having trouble focusing during worship. Hot and bothered, I walked inside to finish some tasks and got overwhelmed. So I decided to turn on “Throne Room” by Kari Jobe and go ahead and make the bottles.

I turned on “Throne Room.” Then left the room. Needed to get a hair clip and put something up.

And as I’m twisting my hair, realizing I have probably missed half of the song, the Holy Spirit said, “This is why you’re overwhelmed. Because of what you’re doing. You’re starting well and coming to me with good intentions but not all of your attention.”

The Repentance

And wow. He couldn’t be more right. I know what I need. I start to do it. But I just need to do a few things real quick first!!! Then the multi-tasking takes over and the moment is gone. Back to self-sufficient, task-list Jackie worshipping her idol of efficiency.

Ouch. It hurts to type. But it’s true. I probably flirted with it prior to parenting, but being a mom has made it a permanent idol. And, as with all other gods that are not God, it’s a sham god. One that over promises and under delivers on hope, joy, contentment, happiness, and fruitfulness.

I have made a god out of efficiency. And I signed myself up to be public and vulnerable with my walk with Christ. So, I’m publicly repenting. Repentance requires change. An aligning (or realigning) of allegiance to the proper God, Creator, Redeemer, Provider, Healer, Comforter, and Friend.

The Plan

So, I’m going to return Efficiency to its proper place: the toolbox. Not the mantle. I’m not going to denounce all forms of efficiency. Just like someone with an idol of money wouldn’t denounce all form of income.

I’m going to set boundaries on multi-tasking. I’m not going to start laundry when I sit down to do my quiet time or closet worship. And I’m goinng to make it a point to pray daily that the Holy Spirit will give me humility and speak clearly on when being efficient is appropriate and when it isn’t.

Because I want to know God in ALL my ways like Proverbs 3:6 says. Take some time these week and ask God if you are knowing Him in ALL of your ways. And be humble to repent if He reveals something to you - whatever it may be.

Y’all’ve got this!

Jackie